officer and I made eye contact, we had a hard time not bursting out laughing.”Īnd as this teacher put it when asked for embarrassing teacher stories-I think they speak for all of us who’ve put in the years: Where do I begin? lesson, a second grade girl innocently blurted out, ‘My mom has handcuffs like yours but hers have pink fur.’ When the D.A.R.E. I had to have the principal try to get it out, but we only made it worse. “I got gum coughed into my hair by a kinder. I mentioned having a three-year-old and a five month-old, and a student’s mom blurted out ‘And you’re expecting again!’ Nope. “Five months postpartum with my second child and I was introducing myself to parents at back-to-school night. It was the fastest I have ever made it down a hill, that is for sure.” They laughed so hard I laughed so hard! My jeans were completely wet in the back for the rest of the day. I ended up slipping and sliding all the way down the hill, on my behind, with my polka-dotted raincoat hood on my head-while students were watching me. I put on my raincoat and ran down a hill directly in front of my building. “It was raining buckets outside and my car was in an area where it was almost being driven away by flood water. Miscellaneous Horrors “I flew a drone into my own hair while demonstrating how to use it.” Who knows how long I had been oblivious to the fact I was mooning everyone.” “I was walking down the hall of my high school (thousands of students all around) feeling cute.Ī cohort motioned for me and came quickly toward me. “When a very nice student (in my FOURTH hour) informed me I had a HUGE rip in my pants and they could see my purple granny panties.” Her eyes were HUGE and just stared straight ahead for a minute or two. I hurdled over a desk in Olympic record time to grab it and stuff it in my pocket before anyone but the girl behind him could see. There, on his back, was a pair of my underwear static-clinging to the blanket. “That time I brought in freshly washed blankets from my house because my classroom was cold, and one of my high school students opened a blanket and wrapped himself in it. Traitorous Clothes “The sudden unwrapping of my wraparound skirt!” When I came out, my first graders were laughing and said, ‘We heard you!’” “I had my mic around my neck and forgot to mute it when I went into the restroom. Of course it was the conference room with everyone in it that interviewed me that day.” “I threw up right outside the school conference room before I interviewed for a job. “The time I let one rip, and I mean really let it blow wild and free like a force 10 in Scotland, only to see in the reflection of my computer a student sitting behind me! I thought they had all left for break!” Just before kids arrived I had to find someone to sub, though, as I passed what wasn’t just a little gas.” Bodily (Mal)functions “That time, early in my career, I had no sick days left and I tried to just get through the day. I taught 8th grade, so it was a done deal for that period. “Said ‘sextual evidence’ instead of textual evidence. You should have seen the surprised (and concerned) look on my principal’s face!” I was talking to my principal in the doorway when a student came up and said, ‘When can we pet NIPPLES again?’ “We had a class guinea pig named Nibbles. His students watched it first and he called me when he heard about it from his students … the principal and vice principal saw it too … so embarrassing.” I also shared the link with my teaching partner. I edited out the string of expletives and proceeded to accidentally put the wrong link to the video in my lesson, the unedited link with the swearing. I made a mistake and started swearing because it had taken me many tries to make the video right and I was frustrated with the technology. “During COVID online learning I was making a video for my class to watch for an asynchronous lesson. My friend’s daughter was one of the sixth graders I was working with and she goes, ‘You’re turning so red!!!’” “When I was subbing for an interventionist and I read the word organism except that’s not what came out of my mouth. One day a kid was questioning whether a child was a VIP and I said, ‘Don’t question his VIP-ness.’ (Now, say that out loud.)” “I had a lottery where some kids were chosen as VIP (very important person/pupil). My 7th and 8th graders thought it was hilarious!!!!” “Teaching choir, I was ready to work with the sopranos on a particularly high part of the song.īefore I even realized what I was saying, I said, ‘OK sopranos, are you ready to get high?’ I … was … mortified.
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